Love vs Notches

Man was I in love. I gave everything for her. She’s half Armenian(like Kardashian) and half Costa Rican. A Playboy like Blonde with the ability to seduce both men and women alike.

We had the time of our lives together; picture perfect proposal, beautiful wedding, great honeymoon, awesome sex, good meals and years of unforgettable moments.

I married a wild child that was allergic to average and insisted that we do everything differently. We had it all and she gave me the best gift of my life; my son. I was a happy man living my dream of having a family. And then… I fell off my cloud.

I was the victim of real estate fraud and lost everything. My world came crashing down.

They say the test of true love are the lows of the relationship. This was our first real test. After a sexless month of serial fighting, it was clear she was only backing me for better and not for worse.   Arguing on the way home one day, she dropped the bomb; “Wake up Dave.

I didn’t get married to you for love, I got married to you for the financial stability you could offer me

“I was heartbroken, I couldn’t eat, sleep or speak and it got terribly worse. She cheated on me shortly after with a male model which triggered a tragic series of events that killed the marriage. I had never been in so much pain.

I consequently mutated myself from naive and innocent to dark and jaded. Like I was on some sort on sadistic mission to break as many hearts as possible in response to the heartless bitch who broke mine. It was no longer about simple heartbreak. It was about vengeance towards the opposite sex for one woman’s distorted vision of love. I became a reflection of her toxicity and couldn’t wait to spew my venom on my next victim, whoever the f@ck she was.

My personal life became entirely about notches on my bedpost. Surrounding myself for years with likeminded Neanderthals whose only goals are to humiliate women in the most degrading ways, document it without their knowledge and share the footage amongst themselves with incomprehensible pride.

My creepy modus operandi was to see just how many women I could dupe into sleeping with me in a weekend and meticulously plan every date to have a guaranteed sexual outcome.

I not only seduced, I hooked them hard and purposely broke their hearts. Every notch on my bedpost not only represented a lay, they were great girls that I intentionally jaded. One girl was an honour roll student that graduated from a prestigious business school. She was on the right track until she met me. She became the booty call that believed I was her boyfriend. I strung her along for a couple years, making her do unthinkable things.

By the time I was done with her, she had no ambition to use her degree and became an escort/ stripper with alcohol and gambling addiction. The demon inside of me got his fix by destroying souls. Like some kind of junkie on a high after injecting himself, I felt a sweet neurological tingle within me after every  girl I successfully hooked and demonized.

In retrospect, there’s nothing wrong with notches. The dishonesty  in what I was doing was my lack of transparency and my premeditated  Lucifer like methodology of hooking and misleading them into thinking we were more than just a f@ck.

The best thing I could have done after being burnt is taking the appropriate time off to rehumanize and channel my anger in healthier ways. It’s unjustifiable but worth stating that I loved my ex immensely, to the point that when my heart was broken, the pain made me transform dozens of beautiful and substantial women into jaded bitches. If you recognize yourself partially or entirely from what I wrote, take a long hard look in the mirror and realize that your time is coming soon.

It’s not complicated, by allowing yourself to fall in love you’re acknowledging the possibility that you might get hurt one day. Collecting notches is an empty and soulless way to live because in the end, love is everything. It’s fun to have harmless one nighters and booty calls now and then. But, in the end, there’s nothing more meaningful than pure love. Love definitely and unequivocally wins over notches.