A lot of us think we know how to make a love relationship work, but quite often, what we think is productive, works against us. There are some basic building blocks to take into consideration in a love relationship that often get ignored. First, do you think that if things have become ho-hum and you need to spice it up a little?
Well, a little adventure is never a bad thing, but one of the most important things in a loving relationship is consistency. You and your significant other need to feel comfortable in knowing what comes next; it is part of human nature to want to feel stable in every aspect of life, and that is even more so in a love relationship.
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Going to a new vacation spot, or trying a new place to eat is one thing, but both you and your love need to feel that there is stability in your relationship. This is the most important aspect of both of your lives. The only way trust can be built in a love relationship is to being there for your love; day in and day out consistently.
Secondly, you need to make sure that your words match your actions. I’m not necessarily talking about the promise to take out the trash, and you don’t; or the promise to clean the kitchen up after dinner that goes unfulfilled.
Although, both are promises that need to be kept, I am talking about body language. In order to build trust in a love relationship; your words must match your body language. If your partner asks if you liked dinner, and you say yes, but are frowning, then you are sending the message to them that you didn’t.
They see your reaction to the question and don’t hear your words. Be open with your opinions and the trust will continue to build.
Next, do you believe in your partner?
In a love relationship, you had better believe in them! I’m not saying that you need to think they are the best chef or an expert mechanic when they are not, but everyone is good at at least a couple things; having faith in your partner will not only build trust, but also build your parner’s self esteem. When they feel good about themselves, they will feel better about everything else in their life, including your relationship.
In order to maintain trust, don’t keep secrets.
A love relationship is built on trust and secrets only erode that hard earned trust. If you are keeping things from your love, you are either trying to hide something, or trying to shield your love from something.
What could be so very bad that you can’t confide in the love of your life? If you perceive a problem, and are not talking to your partner because you are afraid to hurt their feelings; stop and think.
- Wouldn’t YOU want to know if you were doing something that bothered them?
- Wouldn’t you want to know if there was something more that you could be doing?
- Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, «Is this a deal breaker if we don’t fix this?
In the same vein, never be shy about telling your love what you need. I have never met a person who can read minds, have you? If you don’t tell them what you need, then they will never know. Worse than that, when they do find out, they will be resentful that you didn’t tell them before things came to a head! Be honest and forthright with them, and they will return in kind.
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Realize that is OK to say no sometimes. If you agree to everything asked of you, you put yourself out there to be used and abused in every aspect of your relationship. A true love relationship is about compromise. Taking the time to talk about issues ensures that both of you have your needs are being met. And realize that your partner has the right to say no too.
A love relationship isn’t about being stagnant, it’s about growth.
You fall in love and the fireworks go off. But when the fireworks fade, that doesn’t mean the end of love, it is just signifies the beginning of a new phase in your relationship.
When you plant a garden, you see the beauty of the flowers and fruit of your labor. But over time, weeds grow into the garden. If you don’t control the weeds, they take over and eventually kill the seeds you planted. A love relationship works in the same way; you have to keep an eye out for the weeds and get rid of them as soon as they appear. They may be nasty, but you can get rid of them. You have to work to keep your garden thriving.
A love relationship isn’t easy. It takes a lot of work. But in the end, it is worth it. I found an incredible guide to help me and my love through some tough times.